aepicstranger:

thisretrodreamisneverending:

In physics the other day my teacher started having this coughing fit

so he says ‘I THINK SATAN IS CHOKING ME’

and I just went ‘Sorry’ and he stopped coughing

omg I think everyone in my class is terrified now.

i am still laughing at this from like twenty minutes ago

(Source: neverendingretrodream, via justin-timberlagoon)

(via sexcake)

• You: hi
• Stranger: hey
• You: wanna cyber
• Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
• You: ya
• Stranger: And okay then, you start?
• You: i come into ur bedroom
• You: and ur sleeping
• You: and i crawl under your blanket
• Stranger: I'm still asleep
• You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
• You: and u wake up and smile
• Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
• You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
• You: cutting off your penis
• Stranger: wait
• You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
• Stranger: Then what...?
• You: I HATE YOU
• Stranger: I didn't cheat
• You: you bleed to death in your bed
• Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
• You: nobody ever knows what happened
• You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
• You: the end
• Stranger: I have a mercedes?
• You: not anymore faggot
• Your conversation partner has disconnected.

(Source: honey-heroin, via h0lymermaid)

I choked my soul when I finally understood this

(via itsdamnfunny)

(Source: howtocatchamonster, via 67chevyimpala)

(Source: freddylovesjason, via q-u-e-e-n-o-f-d-e-a-d)

(via q-u-e-e-n-o-f-d-e-a-d)

pzychiatry:

misär

(via q-u-e-e-n-o-f-d-e-a-d)

(via 67chevyimpala)